“I don’t know why I can’t get this wig to do what I want it to,” Scott said disgustedly and threw it on the dressing table.

“I sometimes wonder if you’re really gay,” Janet said as she grabbed the offending wig. “You definitely didn’t get any hairdressing genes.”

The phone rang and Janet answered it. “Hello…Yeah, he’s right here.” She handed the phone to Scott. “It’s your cousin, Lizzie.”

“Hi, Lizzie. What’s up?” Tears exploded from Scotts eyes and flowed down his cheeks. He hung up the phone and buried his face in his hands. Sobs wracked his slender body.

Janet put her arms around him. “What’s wrong, Baby? What’s happened?”

“It’s my grandfather. He has cancer and they give him less than a year. My grandmother wants everyone home for Christmas.”

“Of course you’ll go?”

“I don’t know. It’s been so long. I left there right after high school and haven’t been back. The only ones I’ve seen in the last five years are Lizzie and Uncle Dave.”

Janet pulled back from me. “Is Lizzie going?”

He wiped eyes and blew his nose. “She said she and Sara have reservations two days before Christmas.”

Janet picked up the phone and dialed. “Lizzie, what flight are you and Sara on? I’m going to try to get Scott on the same flight…No, he hasn’t said he’d go, but I told him he’sgoing…Okay. I’ll tell him.” She hung up.

“You’ll tell me what?”

“She said you all need to pull together against Catherine. Said you’d know what she meant.”

“My sister, Catherine, is a bitch. She’s just like our mother and other grandmother. Completely homophobic. You know Catherine’s married to Lizzie’s ex-husband. I don’t think she or Mother know Lizzie’s gay.” Scott’s eyes twinkled. “Come to think of it, it might be fun. You will go with us, won’t you?”

“As what? Your beard?”

“Good Lord no.” Scott picked up the offending wig and placed it on his head. “Dealya will need you to dress her wigs,” he said as he struck a suggestive pose.

“If Dealya’s going,” Janet laughed, “I think I will too. You’re right, it could be fun.”

“Good. Call the airline and make our reservations. Put both tickets on my card.”

When she was finished, Janet said, “Now give. What did Lizzie mean?”

Scott answered, “There are four of us cousins, Mike and Lizzie the twins and Catherine, my younger sister. The last time we all were together was ten years ago, the Christmas Uncle Dave brought his boyfriend home to meet the family. That’s the Christmas that, to paraphrase, ‘the defecation came in contact with the rotary oscillator.’”


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